Catch a lover traps full#

Have a few more conversations about your sex life instead and address nonmonogamy/openness generally, not nonmonogamy/openness as a work-around for his dick. So don’t take your husband up on his offer - not yet. If you take him up on his offer “one time,” and you make the mistake of being honest with him about it, he may be just as devastated as my friend was. I urged my friend to take her boyfriend back - if he would have her - but he’d touched another woman with the tip of his penis (two women, actually), which meant he didn’t love her the way she thought he did, the way she deserved to be loved, etc., and consequently he couldn’t be allowed to touch her with the tip of his penis ever again.īack to you, NOTHARD: My first reaction to your letter was “You’ve got your husband’s okay to fuck some other dude - go for it.” Then I reread your letter and thought, “Wait, this could be a test and a trap.” You say you’ve brushed off the issue to spare your husband’s feelings, but he may sense it’s an issue and, consciously or subconsciously, this is his way of finding out.

So her permission to have a threesome “one time” was a test (one he didn’t know he was taking) and a trap (one he couldn’t escape from). She didn’t want to be the reason he couldn’t she wanted to be the reason he didn’t.

During a drunken postmortem, my friend told me she wanted her boyfriend to be able to do it but didn’t want him to actually do it. The opportunity presented itself, the sex was safe, he was honest - and my friend spent a week ricocheting between devastated and furious before finally dumping her devastated and flummoxed boyfriend. So long as the sex was safe and he was honest with her, he could have a threesome one time. She didn’t want to be the reason he never got to do something he’d been fantasizing about since age 13, so she told her boyfriend that if the opportunity ever presented itself, he could go for it. (Spoiler alert: my use of the past tense.) The woman was all about monogamy, but her boyfriend had always wanted to have a threesome. They were good together, they loved each other, and they had a strong sexual connection. Now On To Having Awkwardly Realistic DiscussionsĪ: It’s not cheating if you have your husband’s permission, NOTHARD, but fucking another man could still blow up your marriage - even if you manage to keep it casual. But on the other hand, I don’t want to be a cheater. On one hand, I feel like I should be able to have a fulfilling sex life. Also, I would feel guilty being with another man even though my husband said I could do it one time. I am curious about casual relationships, but I fear they wouldn’t stay casual. I try to brush it off because I don’t want to embarrass him. We have tried Viagra a few times, but it gave him a terrible headache. My husband tries to please me, but oral sex is just okay and toys don’t have the same effect. I miss the intimate connection and powerful feeling of sex with a man. I’m still fairly young and I enjoy sex, but I feel like I am mourning the death of my sex life.

Catch a lover traps full#

I love my husband and I am committed to our family, but I miss full PIV sex. However, for approximately the last eight years, we have not been able to have fulfilling sex because my husband can’t keep an erection for more than a few thrusts. Q: My husband is nearly 20 years older than me, which was never an issue early in our relationship.